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Literature by WRITERandPOET

Devious Literature by Michel-le-fou

Literature by GetWatchers


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Submitted on
June 18, 2012
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1.1 KB
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807 (1 today)
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27

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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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The view is painted today in such blazing colors,
But at least are dimmed all the errors.
The vapid grey of his eyes turned into cyan,
While the blonde hair had rapt the shine of the sun,
Bodies without faces are swallowed by the mist one by one.

The distorted sound seems stunning,
But at least is indecipherable every word coming.
My sight is blurred but I think his face reminds me of another "him",
In these whirling waves I can barely continue to swim,
So I hang on this stranger's face,
Catch him in a breath-taking embrace.

The words I said came out so twisted,
But my tongue is knotting,
The phrase was almost spitted…
His lips are stretching into a smile of understanding,
A whisper that is supposed to reach me floats away,
But I purport this was okay,
Sure, except the moment when I've almost lost self-control,
A sudden contact of our lips imbued with alcohol.
This poem tortured me until it was completely finished.
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:iconkodokunonana:
KodokuNoNana Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012   General Artist
Wonderful ideas! :)
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:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :aww:
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:iconradiantdestiny:
RadiantDestiny Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
The description is amazing...
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:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :aww:
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:iconradiantdestiny:
RadiantDestiny Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome
Reply
:iconafterthenonsequitur:
AfterTheNonSequitur Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Student General Artist
I love the idea behind this poem, and the way you portray it is pretty effective. A small piece of critique, though, if you want it: I would work on your flow a little bit more. I realize that this is 'free verse', but even free verse needs a some rhythm.

Otherwise, good job!
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you liked the idea; I was afraid that it could be a bit hard to figure out.
About the flow, well, it was a quick poem formed by blurred fragments of a scene. Honestly, I didn't wanted to write it down, but the images came again and again through my mind until the poem was finished. But it's nice to see that people appreciates it, so thanks :aww:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Student Writer
Then I am most curious as to how it will continue =)
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:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I don't know neither. But I have a strange feeling that soon I'll find out.
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Student Writer
=D Looking forward to it.
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