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Literature by smurfy27

Words by DraganTheMighty

literature by terrabird7


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Submitted on
September 8, 2011
File Size
1.1 KB
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Views
743
Favourites
50 (who?)
Comments
36

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
I look at you, you look at me,
I miss the way we used to be,
I call out your name, but you can't hear,
Even if you're standing there, you're far away from here.

I sit and stare,
I know is not my world anymore,
A glass wall separated our lives,
Built by broken promises and lies,
An impenetrable wall without a door.

How could we let this happened?
When we got this to an end?

But now my world is shattering,
With tears in my eyes,
I'm leaning on the wall,
Waiting for this world to fall.

The sky is coming down on me,
Sherds of sun are ripping off my skin,
From the pain soon I'll be set free.

You stare at me,
But your sight is empty,
I touch the glass wall, waiting to flee,
Or maybe just to drown in my own blood,
Destroyed by my expectations,
In the end that's all I've got.

I close my eyes,whispering "goodbye",
I don't hate you, I never really did,
I smile, even if now for me is time to die.
Waiting for oppinions;each one is appreciated :aww:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmonochrome-aki:
Monochrome-Aki Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014
amazing !
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:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :thanks:
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:iconmonochrome-aki:
Monochrome-Aki Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014
no problem ^^
Reply
:iconforsakenthedawn:
forsakenthedawn Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It's very emotional, and it appeals very well. There's a good use of metaphors and you made everything so visual.
Though, I think you might want to pace yourself some...
other than that keep going. You're a very good writer
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for your words :aww:
Reply
:iconforsakenthedawn:
forsakenthedawn Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
ur welcome
Reply
:iconbluejay96:
Bluejay96 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Student Digital Artist
*nods* Very, very well done. I nearly cried - this one should indeed be in featured...
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :meow:
Reply
:iconmiss-ali-cat:
Miss-Ali-cat Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
really powerfuly image i got in my head from this, awesome, i really like it :)
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :aww:
Reply
:iconmiss-ali-cat:
Miss-Ali-cat Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconrabbyosaberwolves:
RabbyoSaberwolves Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
i think this one will stay with me for awhile, wish it fit i yourgroup... i know ill fav it there!
Reply
:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
it's very pretty. i like it.
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:aww: thank you
Reply
:iconb2gxties:
B2GXTies Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. I got very distinct mental image. I also like how it rhymes and flows all together.
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ^^
Reply
:iconb2gxties:
B2GXTies Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime. =^.^=
Reply
:iconitotallycantdraw-woo:
itotallycantdraw-woo Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love this and can really relate. Lots of typos though :/ (that's a bit of a pet peeve for me and it was kind of distracting) but overlooking that, the flow was great, good imagery. Overall, nice work!
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconwhispersareheard:
Whispersareheard Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Lived that.... Your poem touched me
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:aww:
Reply
:iconwhispersareheard:
Whispersareheard Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Is amazing..
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you,I really appreciate ^^
Reply
:iconwhispersareheard:
Whispersareheard Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
no prob ^^
Reply
:iconcharmgal27:
charmgal27 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
wow so pretty...and so simple yet genius :D (:
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconcharmgal27:
charmgal27 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
yep (:
Reply
:iconinsaneymaney:
Insaneymaney Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautifully written.

I usually like poems that rhyme, just b/c I write poems that rhyme, but I do like how you rhymed well in here. (: Nice lines too.
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconelezian:
Elezian Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I really like the poem. There are a few misspelled words but I like the imagery.
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you ^^
Reply
:iconelezian:
Elezian Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:icontheartfulpolitician:
TheArtfulPolitician Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Student Writer
Wow. It's very moving. I like the imagery as well.
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you,I appreciate :aww:
Reply
:icontheartfulpolitician:
TheArtfulPolitician Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Student Writer
^^ you're welcome.
Reply
:iconkonekonekonaito:
konekonekonaito Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:icononionemocornerplz:
Reply
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