Let me crawl out of my dark corner and spit out my own definition. Let me shed these words before it becomes illegal. Let me crawl out for a moment; after I finish you can toss me and my ripped soul back in my gap. You can laugh at me and my foolish words. You can spit on my face and step on my heart.
And I know you will.
Life is built of silly, great, sweet, glorious, uplifting, cheerful, colored lies that we are used to call dreams. You can claim that I'm insane but try to analyze your dreams for a moment. Try to grab those sweet words you whisper to yourself every night. You can try but it will never become true, just like your dreams. Sure, five people out of twenty-five will see their dreams turning into reality, but for how long? Seeing your dreams turning into reality involves seeing them shatter down to pieces.
You may say that I'm negativist. You may give me examples of people that built up their dreams and lived happily ever after. You may stop reading this right now, because you can't feel yet these words as I do; or maybe because you can.
Life is just a bunch of useless moments. Useless, because we forget almost half of it. Do you still remember every Christmas or every birthday anniversary? I don't. Do you still remember all the friends that you've lost? Many of them won't remember you anyway. You may say that I'm wrong, but it's okay. That's how the society works.
Do you see them laughing, smiling? I'm sure you do, because I do too. You can't imagine how many of them wipe away that hollow grin when nobody can see their faces. You can't imagine how many of them just lay on the floor lurking at the sky, empting their minds or at least trying- of the awful words that were infused in their brain. They just sit there, secretly wishing for the Armageddon and shivering because of their own thoughts. They just sit there, planning the murder of others. They just sit there, planning their own death. They just sit there, drowned in misery, full of hate and disgrace.
I just sit there, seeing the society bleeding more and more as every day goes by.
You should stop reading this by now, because you won't like my discouraging words. You should stop, but you already know all these things.
I won't lie. In this life you'll be disappointed, betrayed, injured. They will hurt you, but you'll hurt others. That's how the society works.
Maybe you'll experience a strange feeling, which they are used to call "happiness", but don't fall for that. You'll have to pay for every little thing. You'll have to tore out your heart and rip it into pieces, throw away everything that defines you and follow the pattern because if you don't they'll toss you in a gap. Just like they did to me.
You may be chasing your true love but you'll never find it. You'll find one special person but that special person will be chasing for other special one and in the end you'll end up alone. Just like they told me I will.
I hope you understand my frustrated phrases. I hope you don't expect to be happy someday, because you won't be.
It's time to drown back in my own darkness, to feed myself with grief and lies, to stare into the nothing dreaming to a better place. It's time to shut up again, because it seems like nowadays is forbidden to share your feelings or the real you.
If you can't kill the real you they'll burn you down to ashes.
Or maybe "life" is just a simple group of four letters.
'Tis but a fallacy they force you to choke down. As soon as you find something worthwhile, find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, life decides to be selfish and take it all, and we are left gagging on the fallacy.
And then...that which does not kill you will regret not finishing the job.
Things in life hurt so many people... I just hope you don't feel this way all the time. Because I think your life can be worth living. Especially when you feel God's love. Maybe you believe in Him, maybe you don't. But I hope you find Him someday so that He can give you the hope and love that you deserve
(I'm not mad at you for saying it, or anything like that. I'm just a little confused) I guess I could be ignorant to some things. But I don't want to be. I think that my beliefs help me deal with life. And I'm not saying with faith you'll always be happy or that you won't ever be sad. I was just hoping that you don't have to feel so hurt like that all the time.
I'm sorry I upset you. Part of my faith is to share it with others. And it may seem weird that I will just share it with someone I don't know. It just seemed like you were hurting. And I wanted to help, but I don't know how.
Hello there. I understand that you find relief in religion. It just give you one more reason to wake up everyday I guess. It's nice that you wanted to help, sharing your method and I appreciate but religion doesn't help me. I don't say that I believe or not in God. Even if He's real... it's not His job to ease our heart. He's just a watcher ( or at least that's what I think).
i feel like this sometimes, but i also feel that there is more to life than happy memories and achieving your dreams. I live in the moment, and am thankful for every smile and burst of laughter I have everyday. when I can make others smile I'm happy. I live to create, and to experience, to laugh and to cry, and in the end, i'll regret nothing because the entire time I was being me. And if you can be yourself, and truly be confident with who you are, then happiness follows, regardless of your dreams or possessions.
but I really did love your writing, very insightful, and I think it offered an amazing perspective that many would be scared to express.
Oddly enough, I'm highly okay with all this negativity. Because honestly, I agree with it. Yes, I probably have an entire rant about dreams and whatnot, because even if they do shatter, well then, so what? What dreams can compare with what's going on right now? What nightmares can? And lies? Everyone's got fake smiles, so why not search for the one with a real grin on their face? Kill the real you? Maybe it is worth burning to ashes for, we're all gonna die anyways. Nothing matters right? It's my belief one ought to just live life however the hell they wish, unless they wish to harm others. That's a big no-no. I'm babbling, really, because while I kind of want to contest this negativity, I also kind of don't.
Perhaps because that is what life is. A simple group of four letters, as you put it.
About "use to" ... well, I don't know sure, because "use" is to present. I think it would have worked with "used" if it would have been like " we are used to" but I said "we use to". Still, as I said, I don't know sure; English is not my primary language, so I still have a lot to learn
alternativesecretFeatured By OwnerOct 2, 2012Student Writer
I looked it up on the internet and got some different opinions. One site said you say "use to" if your verb is in the present tense, but I think that looks stupid. XD Another site says you never say "use to." And a third site says you say "use to," if it's in a question, such as "Did you use to swim every day?" and then you'd say, "I used to swim every day." And that site says you know it's "used," rather than "use," because you can substitute "would."
So I guess there are a lot of different views on this. But when I read your writing, this is what I think:
"colored lies that we use to call dreams" - This means that you use colored lies in order to call dreams.
"a strange feeling, which they use to call "happiness"," - which means that they use a strange feeling to call "happiness."
The thing to think about is that when you say "we use to call dreams," I'm assuming you mean that you called those things dreams in the past. So, since it happened in the past, you would say "used."
So that's my take on it, as the grammar freak XD and good job with English. English is my first language obviously, and I'm on my second year of Spanish but I can barely even remember simple verbs. >.<
alternativesecretFeatured By OwnerOct 2, 2012Student Writer
welcome of course it's up to you whether you want to say "used to" or not but since I was reading this when you submitted it to my group I just wanted to point that out in case you hadn't seen it. And now I've learned something XD
This sounds more or less like my line of thought sometimes when I get depressed, I like the piece. Very expressive. There is a typo that stood out to me and that is here: " You can't imagine how many of them just lay on the floor lurking at the sky,"
Lurking here feels like a typo to me, I believe that you meant to put looking.