literature

The Great Wolf

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Literature Text

The curse of the deafening howl stays within him,
Yellow chipped claws will rip off their skin,
His red, scarred eyes possessed by grim,
The silence breaks, a rallying cry,
He’s doomed for aye!

Nocturnal crime and silent sky,
The Great Wolf is still alone in the dead of the night,
He’s doomed for aye!

The blind rage wrapped its cold fingers around his neck again,
His sight get’s blurry as the hate coils around him like a chain,
Sweet obscurity has taken over his mind,
He will never be refined,
As the madness inside him, the moon owns the sky,
He’s doomed for aye!

Into the corrupt scenery of odd,
This night the evil comes unfold,
He stepped out,
The filthy human race will wash away with blood,
The Great Wolf will tear out their frail, empty hearts,
For they wanted war tonight it starts,
His yellow fangs, the spark of life will tear away,
For they wanted death it will be given without delay,
A lightning strikes the sky,
He’s doomed for aye!

The Great Wolf digs into the flesh of his own creation,
Without elation,
Blood splashes, shouts invading the night,
It has come – the final eradication,
Surviving is out of sight,
Soul by soul will be doomed to hell by the speed of light,
From his blood stained snout evades a painful cry,
They are doomed for aye…
Comments15
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Medoriko's avatar
Critique from PowerfulWriting

I like how descriptive you are in this. You use great imagery here and your word choice is great. I think you set the scene really well. Some of my favorite parts are:

"Into the corrupt scenery of odd,
This night the evil comes unfold," 

and 

"
Nocturnal crime and silent sky,
The Great Wolf is still alone in the dead of the night, "

However, I do feel that some of the imagery could be stronger. Ex: "His yellow fangs". HOW yellow is his fangs. What could you compare the yellow to? Go a bit further, just a bit. 

One thing I will say is that the "Doomed for aye" doesn't seem to work well here. At least, not after every stanza. It comes off a bit too repetitive. Most of the stanzas except maybe the first and the last, sound BETTER if you left that part out. 

Otherwise, good work.