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Life Spilled On A PageI feel like I can't take it no more, here on the floor I lay,
My days, my nights, the moments of my life,
Lost their color, fade to grey
Staring at this blank pice of paper,
I see my memories on rewind,
Starting then to write,
What I really feel inside
I really do my best,
But it seems I just failed this life's test,
I'm nobody and like this I'll stay,
To get up there is no way
So I spill my life on this page,
The only way to free myself,
From the frustration and rage,
I'll paint and write my memories,
While I'm trying to feel again,
The soft touch of the air's breeze,
But it seems like the time is frozen, all I feel is pain
As I write,
For a short moment I've felt like everything was alright,
But then I woke up to the real life,
The dark, grim world,
Where I'm always wrong
I Think I'm Ready For The EndThe sky is bright, but it's turning into red,
The sun is coming closer,
It seems like the whole world is about to bend.
The earth is shaking, is about of breaking,
Smiling, I look up ahead,
Maybe tomorrow is something we'll not get,
But as long I've got you, I think I'm ready for the end.
They're screaming, running,
Trying to get out alive.
I don't care,
I can see we're about of dying,
This may be the ending,
But I'm sure will come a new start.
There's no use in crying,
So I'll take your hand,
And as long I've got you, I think I'm ready for the end.
The earth is opening, releasing the creatures of the deep,
Flying above us, trying to devour us alive,
But I don't worry, I keep saying "this will be just another trip",
On our shoulders they'll land,
To tore out our eyes,
To cleave our head,
But as long I've got you, I think I'm ready for the end.
The flames of hell seems to come out,
Wanting to quench its blood hunger,
They are desperately running,
From death they think are hiding,
Life Is A ShowAnother day, another show,
Put on the mask, do another bow,
Fake a smile and wipe your tears,
Is time to play again the role.
When it comes to an end,
You are gonna find out it was just pretend,
No, it wasn't how they said,
They never really cared.
It was all your fault,
They've been just following the script,
You've been too involved,
Opened wide your heart,
Let them see what you've got inside.
But they tore it apart, they stabbed it,
Left you bleeding close to death.
Try to get up, try to erase your mind, breathe deep inside,
You say you'll start it all over, change youself forever,
But somewhere, the real you,
Hides far away from here,
Waiting to come back, for a new start.
Are you really inside cold as ice?
Are you really sick of these lies?
But take a look around, you do the same,
Now you are the one to blame,
Pretending to be something that you've never been
This life is a show,
For you, for me, even for them all,
You can never know what are they hiding,
Like you do,
The Hope That Kept Me AliveI thought you were here,
I thought you would stay by my side,
But It wasn't real,
Now I know I can't hide,
It was just an illusion I've created,
My own happy world, far away from the dark.
When the truth was right in front of me,
I lied to myself telling "this can't be".
I closed my eyes and wished for better,
I wiped my tears realizing this will come true somewhere near to never
But at the end of the dark tunnel, I've seen a light,
It was a drop of hope,
The hope that kept me alive.
Hanging by the thread of hope,
I've figured out that you're so gone.
Were you even there?
All this time I've been alone,
Holding on by a shadow,
Feeding with memories,
In a world of hollow.
I am just a fool, I keep the memory of you alive,
Hiding from the crowd, they'll never understand,
But in the end I think I'll survive,
Or is this another illusion?
The hope that kept me alive
A Bottle Of AlcoholOnce again, laying on the floor,
I can barely move,
But I'm still holding on,
I keep it tight in my hand-
A bottle of alcohol
My sight is blurred,
A strange beat I hear in my head,
I think I'm feeling great,
Because in fact I can't feel nothing at all,
I've let myself fall,
Drown my thoughts in a bottle of alcohol
I thought it will help me,
Maybe it will set me free,
Erase my mind, get a new start,
Delete the memory of you from my heart,
Help me move on-
A bottle of alcohol
I pull out the phone,
I'll make a try one more,
But all I hear is the robotic, impersonal voice,
" .please try again later", she said, just as before.
All is in vain, the "later" turned to never.
So I'll take another shot,
It can't harm me anymore now,
You already burned me on the inside,
Maybe soon I'll die,
My indifference about that is something I can't hide,
You already killed my soul,
But maybe will take its place-
A bottle of alcohol.
Long ago I gave up the fight,
Because I've lost you,
Your Bloody Ending
Why are you crying?
Why are you yelling?
Look deep inside of my eyes, do you think I care?
Honestly, tell me, what are you seeing there?
A wild smile on my face,
A burning fire in my eyes,
I just can't wait to end up your lies!
The hatchet shines into the silver moonlight,
The wind blows so reassuring this night,
I hear your hard breath, I can feel the fear in it,
I see your tears racing down your face, while you are begging for mercy.
Don't be scared my love,
Aren't you the one that asked for this?
It will come true in a trice.
Started to cleave your chest,
The blood runs, while you are screaming your lungs out.
Dear, please, shut up,
I'm trying to tear your heart out!
So you did with mine,
It's my turn now, we must keep the line
Your cyan eyes, shined so bright,
Sparkled in the dark, like a guiding light,
They turned to crimson, they look so dead
Your angelic smile, fade away forever,
Your face is drown in blood, you're gone from now,
But I think like this is so much bett
Do You Remember?I burst into laughter,
You're begging me to let you go,
Do you really think this is a joke?
Now is time for you to bow.
Do you remember when you used to call me "freak"?
What made you believe that I'm so weak?
There's nothing bad in being different,
Now, I hope you know how pleased you should be,
To know the real me,
A mad psycho, that's what I am,
And with a bloody murder, that's how I'll end this game.
Do you remember how you used to break me down?
Everyday bit by bit, why you wanted to destroy my soul?
But I didn't let you see my tears,
I turned my back, pretending is not real,
I couldn't let you know my fears.
Now, I hope you won't mind,
If I tear you open wide,
Chop your heart,
Do you remember you did the same?
For your savage death you are the one to blame.
Why don't you laugh in my face once more?!
Do you believe now that the wheel can turn?
Well, your whole life is about to bend,
Take a look at my hand,
Is that your miserable life that I'm holding?
With your own blood,
The Room 259Sardonic laughers, sick lullabies,
We'll make you pay for all your sins,
With hatred, madness in our eyes.
Welcome to the room 259,
We'll enjoy to see you dyin',
In a comfy, bloody bed,
Well, darling, that's the price for lyin' !
"I just want to see what you've got inside,
You're so pretty on the outside,
I promise you,
Your stomach will be sew,
It will look like new."
In that corner,
A pretty girl is crying,
Fallen on her knees,
To God she's praying,
Screaming out her lungs,
For forgiveness she's begging.
Nobody can't save her now, even God
We have no mercy, we'll love to spill her blood,
We'll rip off her skin to see,
Now how beautiful she can be,
How many hearts she will break again?
We've got nothing to gain,
But it doesn't matter,
We like to make them suffer,
And forever we'll stay alive,
To punish them, to make justice,
Their heads to cleave,
The revenge for the betrayed ones we will bring.
A dying men is crawling on the floor,
He's screaming blood,
While is trying to get to the
My Darkest Fear
Traces of blood, everywhere I look around,
A desperate help request comes from nowhere,
I hear a scream, I can't move, I'm bound!
Somewhere far, I see a light,
Suddenly, from nothing, it just came to life.
I hear my name, it's echo floating in the air,
I see you down, but I can't see your face,
Your eyes are fixed on the ground, seems now you have fallen from grace
As I look closer ,all becomes so clear,
My heart starts to beat faster,
Over my spine I feel the claws of fear.
You are laying down, in a pool of blood,
Barely breathing, your color starts to fade away,
Your dark brown eyes turning into grey
Out of your lips comes a softly whisper,
Asking for help, searching for a savior.
I fall down on my knees,
I burst into tears,
In front of my eyes becomes so real-
My darkest fear
Desperate I shout, but theres nobody around,
I'm cursing this life, I hate that you left me behind!
I look at my hands, why am I holding this bloody knife?!
I hear a silent accuse,
Are you rea
I Was Once LovedI was once a child. I had two parents who
cared for me. Every day they would wrap their
arms around me and tell me how much they
Life was perfect. Maybe not what others
Would consider sweet bliss, but I was happy.
Nothing in the world could ever touch me
But life isn't perfect, and neither are
people. For this reason, I cannot help
but say goodbye to everything I know.
Goodbye, Miss Evans, the little old lady from next door
Goodbye, Police officer, who greets me every morning.
Goodbye, little blue-jay, sitting on the branch just outside my window.
Goodbye, Charlie, the little tabby cat that lives under the house.
Goodbye, Mother, who after you lost your love, you became an alcoholic.
Goodbye, Father, who left a desperate mother and me to the deadly grips of debt.
I was once a child
Who would demand a beautiful song to
be played from my music box as I rested
my head to fall asleep along with a
I was once loved
DEADDo you remember the time you carved the word DEAD into your skin?
Do you remember what you said to me?
"Sometimes when I look into your eyes I feel nothing
It's as if I'm dead."
Here's what you don't know
That was the night my heart started to work overtime
Just to keep me alive
And when I cut my arm in front of you; letting blood flow like love leaving a body,
was the moment pain became my only friend
Sometimes I wonder if you still have the scar
Mine will never leave me
SorryTo the future children of this world, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that life is so tough.
And that not everyone is going to like you no matter how spectacular you truly are.
I'm sorry, this world is filled with hate and prejudice.
That everyday innocent people are killed either by themselves or others.
That because you're different you might have to run just a little harder than everyone else.
I'm sorry for the fact that true friends are so hard to come by.
And that one day they will still hurt you.
What sets people apart is whether they're worth hurting for or not.
I'm sorry that one night (or many a night) you will end up lying in the darkness crying all alone.
And that you might never know the reason why.
And I'm sorry that you're not given a choice to be born and the only thing you can do is make the best of it.
That sometimes hard work just won't cut it.
I'm sorry that sometimes you might be alone in a place you never wished to be in; with not a soul in the world to watch over you.
Let me WriteI paint pictures with words,
I can twist and bend them until
They fly high like a sky full of birds.
When darkness falls, my words twist.
I can only hope for a reaction
Of emotional mist.
My pencil knows no bounds
No softness, no darkness is discriminated
Against what words, what sounds, what grounds .
Close your eyes and let me sing
A story of pride, lustful sin, and greed.
Offering no gift but words to bring.
Let me write, let me write.
I'll gain the upper hand someday
For my progress knows no might.
Given UpGiven Up
This paper has never been whiter.
This pencil has never been sharper.
This pen has never been so functional.
This garbage bin has never been emptier.
This garbage bin is as empty as my head.
But sure, I'll still try, right?
I've tried writing.
A thousand times I've tried!
And for what?
I'm done with the dissapointment,
My hopes, trashed.
My dreams, dead.
I give up.
I can't do this anymore,
Trying to write when I clearly can't.
I can't do this.
is such a sad face
all shallow and pale,
its innocence and life
the skin duller then snow
and cold as ice,
never to be rescued,
cheeks caved and covered
for the damage is
in long dark circles,
eyes once so big and bright
they can never
filled with hope and laughter
fix what is
now stay dull and dark
forever tired from
just letting me
the hell they are force to see
live through pain
and try to survive through,
and hell everyday
This face is mine.
Because of my mystery.
What's Left UnsaidThere was that moment.
The awkward pause
where your heart drops
and you hope,
that they believe your smile.
"Oh, that's good."
My heartbeat slows down.
"For a moment..."
My stomach lurches...
you were going emo."
...and my heart falls through the floor.
and I laugh along.
I'm laughing along
just like everyone else.
Laughing so hard,
I might even cry.
They weren't supposed to know,
but they weren't supposed to laugh.
This is it.
I'm leaving the state.
And this is how I remember
our very last moments together:
Laughing at my accidental cuts
and how I'm not a cutter.
There's just one problem
with our last goodbye:
The cuts weren't,
and I was.
MistakesIf every mistake I ever made
was a scar on my body
there would be no pure skin.
Every inch would host a jagged line
where my so called 'selfish pride'
managed to get the better of me.
Idiot mistakes of my youth,
and moronic declarations
of what I thought was insignificant.
Mistakes, errors of judgment,
a complete lapse in sense,
that litter my skin with memories of pain.
For a moment
I thought I was important
not someone to be overlooked.
My selfish pride betwixt me
for everything was little
compared to the pride I raised.
A fall to Earth
waking on concrete
no one besides me.
My mistakes are scars
littering my skin
tainting once pure flesh.
Blunders of thoughts,
guilt as endless as the sky,
never ending weight of it.
are meant to be just that
Though they haunt my thoughts everyday
I can't help but hope that one day
they will be scars instead of thoughts
so everyone else will know
they thoughts that haunt me everyday.
This NightUp on the sky,the moonlight is so bright,
But as I look at your face, I can't understand what happened this night.
Your body is cold,but so my heart,
Your flesh is torn apart, but so was my soul,
When you left me all alone.
Painfull screamings, tears and blood,
Are hauting me tonight,
But it doesn't matter, I don't care,
I can live with all this blame.
Your whacked body lying down there
But trust me, this time,
You ain't going anywhere.
I yelled at you come back to me!
But I couldn't let this be
I grabbed your hands and begged you-don't!
You pushed me away, tried to leave again,
With my face soaked in tears I sworn-this ain't gonna be this way
Blind rage, frustration, broken soul,
This night they took again control,
They blurred my eyes and mind,
Through the shadows of the night,
I've let the anger be my guide
So I've pulled out the knife,
I stabbed you in the back,
This night I ended your life.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More